the rape of random

It's a subject that must be broached even though it pains me to have to admit I know people guilty of this crime. Remember how random used to be used to mean accidental, arbitrary, unsystematic ect? No more as now it has been sucked dry of any and all dignity possessed beforehand and has become the new favorite filler word for half the world's Jett population. Strange sentences that only these hormonally overloaded minds could conjecture like " I'm in love with the blue monkey and my toenails" is now being excused with "oh I'm just so random" Unfortunately their ever faithful 12 Oc disciples are quick to take up the torch and pronounce there idol as "cool", "awesome", and "like totally crazy" which brings me to another point. Remember when crazy signified the drooling, cross-eyed children you had to share the lord's love with every Christmas? Not anymore ! Now people happily announce there mental retardation openly online to all, which can only leave me with the thought that declaring you're crazy is a slightly less self obsessed way of saying "I'm trying to be original" (which by the way, just makes you like everyone else)

Let her eat cakes

It's been awhile, but then again, you can't blog if you have nothing to talk about, However the Lord has made a way of escape and I'm going to France for Christmas. For two months I expect severe brainwashing in the ways of hot chocolate and the metric system. I will try my best to keep an international outlook on things but pray for me to keep the faith and don't be altogether surprised if I come back with breakfast habits like this.

An emo post

I was musing the other day on how much time, money, and self obsession it takes to be an emo. Have you ever seen a poor emo? NO! because it takes 40 euros every time you want to buy that new green day or tokio hotel shirt and it takes an even greater expense in time thinking all about yourself and your trival problems for hours on end. Its not often you see a working class person from a third world contry wearing eyeliner down to their nose and sulking in a corner. Why? Because they know that as bad off as they have it, there is always someone who has it worse and they're too busy working to help keep their family alive and succeed in life. So maybe the next time an emo starts to feel sorry for herself/himself because they haven't met Bill Kaulitz, Billie Joe Armstrong, or whatever other billy bumfuckers there are out there: they should stop to think what are they doing to make the world a better place other than making the above artists millionaries and sending the eyeliner market on an all-time soar

Xd weapon of brotherhood

Our home takes everything to the extreme, even the weapon of brotherhood. Angie had been noticing I was having a hard time relating to the fully functional members of our home by not having things to complain about like communal JJts, diapers, kitchen prep, giving kids spankings etc. So Angie, being the disciple she is she decided something must be done about this cruel seclusion, hence the breaking of her foot. Now we bond over itches, jelly muscles, the inability of our casts to commit for more than 6 weeks, and how we complete each other's eating abilities.  

 oh and getting sloshed has become far more hazardous 

editors note: for the truthful version of this story please refer to www.angie-lina.blogspot.com

24/7

24/7 has become the new motto for the Fontanars Fiesta. Four consecutive days of parties till 6 in the morning wasn't enough for us and we decided to outdo the natives with our own housewarming party for all the brethren in Spain. After many promises of mountains of brownies ( which turned out more like chocolate cake thanks to Gabi's Spanish cooking skills ), about half the brethren came to eat our undercooked chicken and (once properly drunk enough) groove out to "Lady in Red".


a ride on the wild side


















queen of the moors
























right before the gagging and choking started















our alcoholics anonymous club















integrating with the natives

She had it coming

Well after a month of complaining to God about how utterly uninteresting life had become since moving to "Poco Loco"( the affectionate, pet name given to our thriving, metropolitan, commercial, centre ) something finally happened. As God often does with long, crooked nosed, stubborn mumurers he gave them their request but not the form they wanted it in. Well I broke my arm and have repented of my murmuring since all activities that were being participated in before this point have come to a standstill and I have resigned to reading science books on a mass scale and going on long evening walks with the kids to develop my shepherding skills and to keep mind and left arm occupied. I must run now but I'm having an operation tomorrow to put pins in my arm so please pray for the doctor as he informed me that I would be his guinea pig since this is the first time he is performing this type of operation.



P.S. Children ( and midlife crisis daredevils ) do as your parents or your wife tells you to and wear head/body gear when rollerblading. A helmet and arm pads are far less painful to your pride then a broken bone is to your body.

Hitler will be missed

A sad, sorry day it was when we waved goodbye to Melody and her sometimes self-inflicted mustache; but not without a single and final memorial to her eccentric self. Welcome to " Eccentric Night" where the only rules were "if Melody would wear it, then its legal."


























Esma on a "spa tour" minus the hunky, brain-dead, Kronk


























yes we were all shocked Jace had kept those corduroys since 1995

They believed they could fly

"Dying with dignity" is not a phrase know to Spanish chickens. Since the poor dears aren't alive and squawking anymore and therefore can't protest theirs rights , I thought I'd give them a little helping hand to insure that Spain imports some more Romanian workers to make them a little more presentable for our Sunday roast.




































( disclaimer: this is the result of not leaving a pocoloco village for four weeks running. If this post in anyway upset you either report me to the RSPCA, or buy me a plane ticket)

Since I've been gone

I've been a prodigal son and deserted my blog for the riches of the real world. In family lingo that translates as "fund raising and traveling across Europe in a caravan overloaded with surfing equipment". I don't have time to go into the details of how we survived mentally and hygienically for 3 days in a car with a constant intake of red bull, coffee and a continuous output of undignified language aimed at the French road system. Let the pictures tell the story of my last 6 weeks of frivolous living ( ahem I wish)

first of all a spot of modeling (i.e. having your hair being made to look like a bunch of pubes by a hairdresser who thinks its all "gorgeous darling".)























had a touching family reunion

















took on the man's role for nina's sake























made sarah's cake and blew out her candle















took loving, post-shepherding photos with emily ( only certain people will get this)

















stayed with the frenchies and partook of their cheese

















and feasted on vast amounts of junk food( hence the overjoyed preschooler face)

Groovy Baby!

Remember the bell bottoms, the gold medallions, the hairy chest, the inappropriately long sideburns ? Or like some people do you hope to forget? Whether you loved them or hated them you have to admit the 70's were a wild time and the perfect theme for our next home activity.




















" It's Raining Men"

Nina looking authentically 70's and Rachel looking like some sort of cross between a drag queen and a 70's slut




















Groovy Baby! the original Austin Powers

some 70's square dancing

Sara showing the blonde how its done

St. Paddy's day

Symbolised as a day to get drunk and sings songs about killing the English, this year limerick (Ireland's third largest city) was crashed by seven family members waving pumps, latex, paints and promising to make everyone look festive, or stupid. After a parade of Irish army guys and a Massachusetts police squadron trying to be cultural and get back to their roots, we hit the pubs to witnesses to the drunks and harlots ( and sell them latex of course). At 8:00 when people couldn't stand anymore and our shamrocks started looking like green balloons, we called it a day and retired to the blessed comfort of beer and vinegar soaked chips.

Sarah's face was blotted out so I wouldn't be continually accused of posting bad pictures and our friendship would remain alive and vibrant

some very sweet, very blonde girls who insisted on having pink shamrocks

what happens when you mix Guinness and baileys

that desperate look you get whist waiting for your junk food

Satisfaction!

celebrate good times. February 18th

Yet again I have put off blogging till 3 weeks later and I hear complaints rumbling about how I never update ect ect. Due to technical difficulties (i.e. a longstanding selfishness on the part of the people who downloaded the photos first), I was unable to post for a considerable sum of time , but finally here we are! So after 3 days of spiritual feasting we did the hygienically suicidal and had over 50 people at our little home. How the inspiration went don't ask me as my contribution was 4hrs in the kitchen to produce enough potato salad ( don't ask me how we manage to commit that sin ) to feed the hungry masses. After saying goodbye to our 50 guest and cleaning up a mess that looked like the result of world war 3, its was time to have our own little 50's party and talent night.

Please don't ask .

If you take my burger I'll make mince meat outta you!

junk food makes you happy

That was not some strange fertility dance, but a game.

and our boy band debut to "baby when you move to me ",

complete with socks as so our manhoods bulged just that little bit extra.

Valentines message

Yes that dreaded date of February the 14th has come upon us again. It's that time of year where some people are either blissfully in love, or an emotional suicide case. But for you lonely sods out there, instead of drowing your sorrows in overdoses of Lindt and Jack Daniels take this picture for comfort and know that.....................
"I Love You."















(p.s. for all those of you who might accuse me of an adobe photoshop overuse: this photo was only cropped for child friendly reasons ;D )

Road Trip 2

Road trips seem to be my forte recently; either that or its just the home's "good excuse" to get rid of me for a week. So armed with (as we found out after ) not enough tools, a inhumaenly-cute baby and about 300 rubber......:D BALLOONS we were off to Longford.

"The Aubergine" where we ate lunch everyday (p.s. for all you gourmet food lovers out there this restaurant won the award for the best restaurant in the county for 7 years running

sam.p had a nack for attracting weridos

caught in the act and during devotions too!

disclaimer: Nina doesn't usually smile like an american, Sam.P doesn't usually wear women's glasses, and I don't usually stare at blonde women like I've never seen a viking before

campground

From the 5th to the 8th of January I was back in my home country for a camp the J/T board organized. Although the camp population was small it was good to see old friends again and just talk. The first day was spent witnessing in Trafalgar Square with the four horsemen skit. The second day followed with a happy football match which soon degraded into a mud-bath rugby game after the heavens open and rained. And what family camp would be complete without a dance and talent night ?

inspiration

charades

giving classes, not the most inspiring job

mmm they do enjoy a good rumble tumble

lunchtime

our new outreach method

my moment of martyrdom for Christ's sake

being saved by a Frenchman (maybe they do have some use after all)

I always knew I was short but after seeing this photo the midget gene was confirmed

getting 30 family kids onto the same metro cabin all at the same time was never going to be a easy task

and the stress shows

being a secretary is a lonely job

two of the nicest sisters I've know since I was 10

pretty dirty

"The Loaf of Bread" revised

the New Zealand all blacks' Hakka (btw i was reprimanded for leading young, influential minds in such strangeness)

nach punjabi